Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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