That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
