If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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