I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ladies don't puke and tell
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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