dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
