no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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