I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
