I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
