if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
