So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
