doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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