Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just high enough for therapy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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