carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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