You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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