after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
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Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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