omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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