Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
