All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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