Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
