I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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