he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
