He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
