Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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