i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
