so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He felt like a one man threesome
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
