Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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