I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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