Small penises have feelings too.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
