just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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