Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize