what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Your cock deserves a montage
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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