I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
