so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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