I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
