This is not my ceiling
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
