Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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