I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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