that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
