Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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