I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
