wat bout pragnant strippers??
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
