He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
