I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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