Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
