Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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