the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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