anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
even my farts smell like vagina
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize