the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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