so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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