You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
