I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
