just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
