be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
