I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
