normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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