is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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