every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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