Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
