Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
