Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
