I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
