PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize