She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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