If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
