Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
