We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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