There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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