I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
