I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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