The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
