Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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