Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Im part way to drunk.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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