He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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