Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do vagina's smell?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
