I am in a vortex of obligation.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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