I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
