I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When are your genitals available?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize